I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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