can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
