Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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