I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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