Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
