Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
