why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
