But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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