So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize