I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
