I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
