she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
