why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
