I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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