I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
