its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
