As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize