Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
