literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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