We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize