Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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