Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have started to decorate penises.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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