i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
