He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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