We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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