I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
