Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
