Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
