i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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