I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
