he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
