How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
