There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
