I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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