Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
