First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
