I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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