Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
