You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
