My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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