Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
