two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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