I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
