How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
