Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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