I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
