Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You've changed since you got that strap on
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
