There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
