Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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