He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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