Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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