Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
His nipple licking is glorious
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