she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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