Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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