This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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