to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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