I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
