It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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