Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
